S60 Series Games: Sky Force Reloaded

Sky Force Reloaded for S60 Series

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Animated Theme: Aqua

Animated Theme for S60 Series

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LCG Juke Box v 1.01

LCG Juke Box v 1.01 (Cracked)

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Full Screen Caller

Full Screen Caller (Cracked) for S60 Series

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FExplorer

FExplorer for S60 Series Mobile. A handy application for files management.

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Auto Lock for Symbian S60 Series

Auto Lock for S60 Series Mobile.

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Zip for S60 Series Mobile

Zip software for Symbian S60 Series Mobile

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Xplore 1.00

No more annoying bluescreen problems. Works absolutely fine.

X-plore is a file manager for Symbian phones, with wide range of functions on phone’s file system.
This software is shareware, with friendly price and relaxed registration option.

Use the unregistered version as long as you wish.
If you like the application, please buy it - you’ll get faster application startup and close, customer support, free upgrades, and you’ll help us to further improve this application.

* View all drives / folders / files on phone in tree view *
* Integrated text and image viewer
* View file details
* Edit file attriutes (hidder, read-only, etc)
* Rename and delete files
* Create or edit text files
* Create folders
* Multi-selection
* Copy or move files and folders
* Send files by Bluetooth or Infrared
* Extract files from Zip, Rar, Jar archives
* View Word documents
* Hardware device info
* View processes and tasks **
* Built-in program update
* Viewing, saving files in Messagning folders
* Hex viewer and editor
* Search files
* Folder hotkeys

Click to Download

Flexi Cam Pro for S60 Series

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Aniviewer for S60 Series

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Flexi Cam Pro for S60 Series

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Cheating Accountant and his wife

A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one evening which read:
"Dear Wife, I am 54 years old, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy eighteen year old secretary."

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows:
"Dear Husband, I too am 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Savoy Hotel with my eighteen year old toy boy. Because you are an accountant, you will surely appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."

Murphy's Laws on Sex

1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
29. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
33. Do it only with the best.
34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
40. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
42. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
46. Never say no.
47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
52. Love comes in spurts.
53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
56. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
60. "This won't hurt, I promise."

Some nice clean jokes

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
**********

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
**********

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
**********

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "Billionaire"
**********

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
**********

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour.

Sex for the Deaf

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they can't see each other using sign language, natch).

After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife proposes a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea! Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time."

"And if you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis......fifty times"

Why Newton committed Sucide

Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide…..
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!

The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits suicide…

Guide to safe fax

Q: Do I have to be married to have fax?
A: Although married people fax quite often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day.

Q: My parents say they never had fax when they were young and were only allowed to write memos to each other until they were 21. How old do you think someone should be before they can fax?
A: Faxing can be performed at any age, once you learn the correct procedures.

Q: If I fax something to myself, will I go blind?
A: Certainly not, as far as we can see.

Q: There is a place on our street where you can go and pay to fax. Is this legal?
A: Yes. Many people have no other outlet for their fax drives and must pay a "professional" when their need to fax becomes too great.

Q: Should a cover always be used before faxing?
A: Unless you are really sure of the one you are faxing, a cover should be used to insure safe fax.

Dead Cow and The Mermaid

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons.

Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her — how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?

In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.

Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.

When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you."

The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.

Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river.

The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right." And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.

The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in.

And there he also met the mermaid. "I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."

The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?"

The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?"

Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health." Then the young son asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"

Washcloth

There was this lady who was in the shower & her little boy walked in on her taking a shower & he saw her pubic hairs & says:
"Mommy what's that?" as he pointed down to her.
"Well, that's Mommy's washcloth."

The next day he walked in on her again, & asked her again & she says it was her washcloth. Well, this time when he walked out she shaved it off because she got tired of him asking.

So the next day when he walked in on her, he asks:
"Mommy what happened to your washcloth?"
"Uh, Mommy lost it." So the little boy walked out.

The next day he walked in on his mom & says:
"Hey Mommy, the maid found your washcloth & she is washing Daddy's face with it!"

Martian Sex

A couple from Earth has finally saved up enough money to take a vacation on Mars (they could do that then). So they go to mars and meet a martian couple and start talking about they way they do things and come to the subject of sex. They decide to switch partners for the night to see what happens.

The human woman and the man martian go into a room and the martian strips but his thing is the size of a pencil (whoa), and the woman says, "um, how is this going to work?"
The martian man replies "Oh, not big enough? Okay then."

All of a sudden he starts slapping his forehead and his thing grows longer. "Um, that's good but isn't it still a little thin?
"No problem" the martian man replies.
Then he starts pulling his ears and it grows wider.
The woman is amazed by this and they have wonderful sex.

The next day they meet and the human man asks his wife how it was and she said "Oh my, it was wonderful! How was your night?"

The man replied, "It was awful!!
The martian woman kept slapping my forehead and puling my ears!"

 

Tarzan

Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex. Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure. Deep in the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile. Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion Jane came out into the open and offered herself to him. As she reclined on the wild grass Tarzan ran up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch. In pain she screamed 'What the hell did you do that for!?' Tarzan replied, 'Always check for squirrels.'

The Smart Sardar

A Sardar went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn't like Sardars.

The game warden ordered the Sardar to show his hunting license, and the Sardar pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Ontario.This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license,boy?"

The Sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't no Quebec duck.

This duck's from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?"

The sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Manitoba duck. This here duck's from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?"

Again the Sardar reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Sardar "Just where the hell are you from?"

The Sardar smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, "You tell me, you're the expert."

Insulting Druggist

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly on the phone this morning. I had to call several times before he would even answer the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could get 3 words out, the druggist interrupted him: "Now, just a minute! Listen to my side of the story. This morning, the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I left without eating breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realize that I had locked the house with both house and car keys still inside. So I had to break a bedroom window and crawl inside to get my keys.

Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store, a mob of people were waiting for me to open. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the while, the damn phone was ringing off the hook.

Then, I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up them up, and the phone was still ringing. When I stood up, I cracked my head open on the cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase full of perfume bottles. Nearly half of them hit the floor and broke.

Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and when I finally staggered back to answer it, it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her!"

Train Delay

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

Who's Child

One day the African chief's wife gave birth to a white child and the chief was absolutely stunned. He suspected some hanky panky and went to the white Jesuit missionary father and looked at him suspiciously. "You have been fucking my wives," he accused the white father, who looked very uncomfortable. The Jesuit, tried to wriggle out of the difficult situation by trying to explain Mendel's laws of genetics to the wrathful black. "You see that herd of sheep," he said pointing to the chief's herd, "Most of them are white; but you will also notice 2 black lambs among them." "OK! OK!" said the chief. "You keep your mouth shut and so will I."

Radio Game

This story occurred on Melbourne radio last week. One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas holiday. Last week the competition went like this:

Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game?

Brian: Yeah, sure.
Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex?
Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning.

Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian?
Brian: Hmmmmm …. about 10 minutes.
Presenter:10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it?
Brian: Ohhhh , I can't say that.
Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian!
Brian: O.K. … O.K. … On the kitchen table.

Presente and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife?
Brian: Yeah, alright.

Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you?
Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks.

Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello.
Sharelle: Hi Brian.
Brian: Hi Sharelle.

Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali.

Brian: Just tell the truth Honey.
Sharelle: O.K.

Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex?
Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio.
Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them.
Sharelle: O.K. … About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work.

Presenter: Good, nice start! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle?
Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes.
Co-Presenter: That's close enough … Brian was just being a gentleman.

Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it?
Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no.
Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here.
Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway.. just tell em.

Sharelle: Ohhhh …. alright …. Up the ass!

Radio Silence

See the guts

In a ship the Generals of three nations were traveling with their soldiers. They started the topic that whose soldier had more of guts.
The American general called for one of his men and told him to jump down the ship and take a round swimming around the moving ship. The soldier did as he was commanded and the general boasted of by saying "See the guts !".
Now the German general called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds.the soldier did as he was told.when he came back from the water the German said "See the guts ".
Now the Pakistani General called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds.
The soldier promptly replied, "Am I your dad's servant?". At this the general proudly said "See the guts".

The correct way to come home drunk

Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do.
Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL Wakes Up, and Yells at me for staying out so late!

"His buddy looks at him and says "Well, you're obviously taking the wrongapproach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say!, WHO'S HORNY????!!!" and she acts like she's sound asleep.

It Works Every Time!!

Hat Seller

There was once a hat-seller who passed by a forest on his way back from the market. The weather was very hot and so he decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side.

A few hours later, he woke up by some sounds. The next thing he realized was that all his hats was gone. He heard some monkeys on the tree and so he looked up. To his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats.

The hat-seller sits down and think of how he can get the hats down. He think and think and start scratching his head. The next moment, he realized that the monkeys were doing the same action.

Next, he took down his own hat and saw the monkeys do exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and throw it on the floor and the monkeys do that too.

So he finally managed to get all his hats back. If you think you have read this before….., read on!!!

Fifty years later, his grandson, Jack, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather.

One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest, it was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and realized that the monkeys had taken all the hats. He remembered his grand father's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys follows.

He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, JACK threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still hold on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said "You think only you have a grandfather".

People Standard on deserted island

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 American men and 1 American woman
H. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman

What a Crazy coincidence! One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:

A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.

C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they spend time with the German woman.

D. The two Greek men are happy together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.

E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.

F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.

G. The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman is bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, the equal division of the household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much better, and how her relationship with her mother is improving.

H. What happened to the Indians????

The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman!

Joke: Smart Thief

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned.

There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, "I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star."

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don't I?"

Joke: The Women

Four beautiful ladies walked into a hotel to stay in for the night, the name of the hotel read, "Pleasure Giving Hotel For Women" The ladies were convinced and walked in.

On the first floor a sign read, 'the men on this floor are not good at having sex, but are very gentle and very tempting'.

The ladies were not satisfied and they walked to the second floor which a sign read, 'the men on this floor are good at having sex but are very rude and self-considerate'

The ladies were once again not satisfied and went on to the third floor where a sign said, 'There are nothing wrong with the men on this floor, they're good at having soft sex they are very nice, gentle and hot' the four ladies were tempted to go in but decided to go to the last floor to see what was in it.

When they got there they saw a sign that said, 'There is absolutaly no one on this floor, this floor was just made to show that there is no way to please a woman'

Joke:Women are complex

Women are complex creatures…..
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you are not understanding
If you visit her often,she thinks it is boring
If you don't , she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't , you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "Oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they a just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

In short :
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful……….WOMEN !……..

Joke:Parrot with no legs

This guy is setting at a bar, and he's had a lot to drink that night; he asks the bartender for another drink, but the bartender says no.

The guy is pretty upset by this and persists, but the bartender keeps saying no. Finally the guy asks, "Well isn't there anything that you can give me?" The bartender says, "I've got this parrot over there in the corner, sitting on a perch, with no legs.

The guy interested by this asks how the parrot stays on the perch with no legs. The bartender tells the guy that the parrot just raps his dick around the perch.

The guy is amazed by this and agrees to take the bird home. On the trip home he asks the parrot if he can talk. The parrot says, "Sure I can talk!"

The guy thinks for a second and then says, "I've got a job for you. I have to go to work tomorrow and my wife will be home alone all day long. I want you to watch her and tell me everything that happens while I'm gone. The only person other than my wife scheduled to be there is the milk man."

The parrot agrees to watch the man's wife. The next morning the guy leaves for work, leaving only his wife and the parrot at home. Later that evening the man returns home and asks the parrot what his wife did all day.

Parrot: "Within an hour after you left the milk man appeared. Your wife walked to the door, dressed in her bathrobe and let him in. Right away they started kissing!"

Man: "Then what happened after that?"

Parrot: "They started taking each other's clothes off."

Man: "And then what?"-getting more angry

Parrot: "Your wife started jacking him off!"

Man: "What next?"-really steamed by this time

Parrot: "She started giving him a blow job!"

Man: "And what then, did they do anything else?"

Parrot: "I don't know by that time I got a hard on, and fell off my perch!"

Simworks Antivirus v 1.14 Full

SimWorks Anti-Virus protects your phone from viruses and other malware.

Click to Download
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=anti%20virus%20tools/Simworks_AntiVirus_1.14_FULL.rar

Simworks Antivirus v 1.30

SimWorks Anti-Virus protects your phone from viruses and other malware.manual scan available anytime;set to autoscan as frequently as you want; auto-starts when phone turned on; auto-updates to provide the most up to date protection possible

Click to Download
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=anti%20virus%20tools/SimWorks.AntiVirus.v1.30.S60.rar

NetQin v 2.0 for Symbian OS

Easy-to-use interface Real-time Monitor auto-scans files received at the device via any file transfer mechanism (e.g., Bluetooth, IR, desktop synch) On-demand scan of internal memory

Click to Download
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=anti%20virus%20tools/NetQin_V2.0_for_symbian_6.1.rar

Macafee Virusscan for S60 Series

Solution for real-time protection against viruses, worms, Trojans and other technology abuses to provide a safe and secure mobile experience

Click to Download
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=anti%20virus%20tools/McAfee.VirusScan..rar

F-Comm Warrior Detective Tool

Use F-Commwarrior tool to deactive Commwarrior.C so that Anti-Virus can be installed on the phone.

Click to Download
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=anti%20virus%20tools/f-commwarrior.rar

exoVirus Stop v 1.0

Protect your Symbian Series 60 phone against mobile viruses and trojans, with the new antivirus product from exoSyphen Studios. exoVirusStop brings some new and innovative features, which make this software unique

Click to Download
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=anti%20virus%20tools/exoVirusStop.v1.0.S60.rar

Call Recorder

A fully customizable call recording application with rules for incoming/outgoing and known/unknown conversation saving. Easy to use and extremely discrete. Two record formats: amr and wav. It also sports functionality to export the sound clips.

Click to Download
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=common/call_recorder_1.03_full.rar

Anti virus FSC

Real-time protection against harmful content in the device and memory cards Automatic antivirus database updates from F-Secure Anti-Virus Research to the mobile terminals over an HTTPS data connection or incrementally with SMS messages

Click to Download
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=anti%20virus%20tools/anti-virus_fsc_os6.rar

AntiCommWarrior

AntiCommWarrior tool deactivates and completely removes Commwarrior.a, Commwarrior.b, Commwarrior.c, and probably other yet unknown variants of that most dangerous mobile virus that we have seen so far.

Click to Download:
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=anti%20virus%20tools/anticommwarrior.rar

Anticabir

AntiCabir tool deactivates and removes a lot of Cabir worm variants and probably other ...
Click to Download:
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=anti%20virus%20tools/AntiCabir.rar

Antivirus

Protect your Symbian Series 60 phone against mobile viruses and trojans, with the new antivirus

Click to Download:
http://www.s60cracks.org/download.aspx?file=anti%20virus%20tools/anti_virus.sis.rar

The Symbian Heaven

Protect your private photos, voice and sound files, videos, confidential
documents - just any kind of files on your smartphone!

Every smartphone user stores sensitive data on his device. It could be
private photos, confidential voice notes, business documents, etc. You
don't want an unauthorized person to get access to your confidential or
private data, do you? Protect your confidential and private data with
Best Crypto now!

Best Crypto application is designed for electronic data protection. It
provides you with a user-friendly graphical interface for encrypting and
decrypting your sensitive data. Behind easy to use interface, its
powerful cryptography engine is using industry standard secure crypto
algorithms (RC6 (ECB-Mode) ciphering with 256-bits keys and MD5
algorithm) to give you absolute, almost unbreakable security.

o manage your Best Crypto files you can use "Safe list" and/or "File
Browser" features:

Safe list

Add files you encrypt and decrypt very often to "Safe list". It's quite
a handy option if you do not want to look for these files every time you
need to encrypt/decrypt them.
"Safe list" detects the selected file state automatically and allows you
to perform the needed action fastly.

Current file is encrypted. Press "Decrypt" button and type correct
password to decrypt.

State of the current file is undefined or the file was moved/deleted
from its original location. Press "Details" button to see the problem
description.

All other files marked with icons describing their types are not
encrypted and can be viewed by any file viewer/editor associated with
this file type. To protect these files use "Encrypt" command and specify
a password you want to encrypt them with.

File browser

To encrypt/decrypt any file on your device use built-in "File Browser".
To access the file browser select "File Browser" command in menu. It's
easy to work with, just select any files (multiselection is allowed) and
use encrypt or decrypt command in menu.

Session options

For every file you encrypt you may assign different password. But we
understand that in some situation users would like to use the same
password to encrypt/decrypt several files. If so, select "Keep key"
option in "Session options" menu. While the application is running it'll
be typing last entered password automatically when you encrypt or
decrypt files. So if you using the same password for all files you need
to type it only once. After you close the application this password is
reset and you will need to type it again when you start the application
again. If you do not need this option select "Don't keep key" option.

Behind the screen

* Reliable encryption of any kind of data by using the international
industry standard system RC6 (ECB-Mode) and MD5 algorithms
* High speed encryption and decryption process
* Passwords are not stored on the device to increase the safety further.
Password verification is performed by checking digital signs.

Please note: your password is not stored anywhere inside the
application, encrypted files or in some place on your device in order to
increase the safety. Password verification is performed by checking
digital signs (digital signs say nothing about your password or
encrypted data nature). It means that no person (including the
application developers) can open and see your data without specifying
correct password. Please don't forget your password as there's no way to
access your data without it!

Download:
http://depositfiles.com/files/707232

Lonely Cat Games X-plore v1.00 S60 +-BiNPDA

X-plore is a file manager for Symbian phones, with wide range of
functions on phone's file system.

Features :
• View all drives / folders / files on phone in tree view •
• Integrated text and image viewer
• View file details
• Edit file attriutes (hidder, read-only, etc)
• Rename and delete files
• Create or edit text files
• Create folders
• Multi-selection
• Copy or move files and folders
• Send files by Bluetooth or Infrared
• Extract files from Zip, Rar, Jar archives
• View Word documents
• Hardware device info
• View processes and tasks ••
• Built-in program update
• Viewing, saving files in Messagning folders
• Hex viewer and editor
• Search files
• Folder hotkeys

• Protected folders on Symbian 9.x are not accessible
•• Available only on Symbian 6/7/8

Version History :

1.00 - Initial version

Download:
http://files.myopera.com/coolvipcandy/dir1/xplore1.00bin.zip.zip

Songs of Indian Movie Anwar

1. Maula Mere Maula

http://braikhna.com/music/anwar01.mp3
2. Dilbar Mera

http://braikhna.com/music/anwar02.mp3
3. Javeda Zindagi (Tose Naina Lagey)

http://braikhna.com/music/anwar03.mp3
4. Bangla Khula

http://braikhna.com/music/anwar04.mp3
5. Anwar

http://braikhna.com/music/anwar05.mp3
6. Jo Maine Aas Lagayi

http://braikhna.com/music/anwar06.mp3
7. Into The Black

http://braikhna.com/music/anwar07.mp3
8. Mela (Shadow of Sunlight)

http://braikhna.com/music/anwar08.mp3
9. Bangla Khula (Dance Mix)

http://braikhna.com/music/anwar09.mp3
10. Maula Mere Maula - Remixed

http://braikhna.com/music/anwar10.mp3

Songs of Salam-e-Ishaq

Save Taget As
Dil Kya Kare
http://braikhna.com/music/salaameishq01.mp3
Saiyaan Re
http://braikhna.com/music/salaameishq02.mp3
Mera Dil
http://braikhna.com/music/salaameishq03.mp3
Salam-e-Ishq
http://braikhna.com/music/salaameishq04.mp3
Tanu Lake
http://braikhna.com/music/salaameishq05.mp3
Babuji
http://braikhna.com/music/salaameishq06.mp3
Ya Rabba
http://braikhna.com/music/salaameishq07.mp3

Symantec Antivirus for Symbian OS

The most reliable antivirus solution for you phone.
can be updated via gprs and also by transferring files to your phone via
bluetooth from ur pc. (definition files will be uploaded soon).

Click to Download
http://rapidshare.com/files/19702653/symantec_antivirus.sis

Webgate advanced device locks

It is an application to lock the desired applications in your phone.
locked applications can only be opened by a password. So protect your
imp data/applications.
enjoy.

Download:
http://rapidshare.com/files/20032293/Advanced_Device_Lock_v1.00.sis

FExplorer 1.15 english for N-gage

FExplorer 1.15 english for N-gage

Click to Download http://www.geocities.com/dxt85/FExplorer_english_115.zip

Screenshot v2.71 Unsigned, Freeware

http://www.antonypranata.com/screenshot/images/screenshot_s60_3rd.gif

Screenshot for Symbian OS is a FREE program to take screenshot on your Symbian OS mobile phones (UIQ or S60). You can capture screenshot and save it to a file in JPEG, BMP or MBM format (the S60 version supports PNG format too).

The screenshot can be sent directly to a PC via Bluetooth or infrared and another mobile phone. Furthermore, you can customize the shortcut key, file name and delay of capturing. It supports continuous mode that allows you to capture screenshot every a few seconds.



languages

* Russian
* Polish
* Spanish
* Swedish
* Norwegian
* Japanese
* Ukrainian
* Finnish
* Croatian
* French
* Malaysian
* Bulgarian
* Turkish
* Slovak
* Czech
* German
* Simplified Chinese, Hong Kong Chinese and Traditional Chinese
* Italian
* Dannish
* Dutch
* Greek
* Finnish
* Portuguese and Brazilian Portuguese
* Arabic
* Hungarian

Download:

http://www.***3.com/mobile_phone/attachment.php?attachmentid=64996&d=1175408539

Intellisense Infotech ZPlus v1.0 S60 SymbianOS +-illusion

Your phone has plenty of secrets about you and you might need Z Plus security for it?

http://files.myopera.com/coolvipcandy/files/zplus_big.gif

Let your phone be your best friend and keep all your secrets as secrets as you may provide Z Plus security to it now...

Contacts Hider, Gallery Encryption, Wallet Information, Hide Applications, Notes Hider and all SMS Hider

You don't want kids or your friends to play any game or open any other applications without your permission? You don't want anyone to know about your hidden videos, images, documents or other files or you have some naughty or secret messages or don't want to remember your long passwords or want to store your sensitive information like credit card or bank a/c?

1) It helps you to hide your installed 3rd party applications.
2) Stop worrying for your naughty or secret messages.
3) Relax after hiding your videos, images, sound files or other documents as IntelliSafety guards your mobile and helps you to feel safe.
4) Don't worry for your hidden emotions or secrecy in your notes as those can also be protected now and you may rely on this Intelligent Safety.
5) Access your credit card information, bank a/c numbers, secret passwords or other information on the move with the given wallet as it's for you and with you everytime.
6) Now included the option to hide your secret contacts.

It restricts any unauthorized access on hidden data and files can not be opened by any other software whether it's F Explorer or any other. Compare it with other softwares for your satisfaction.

Your phone has plenty of secrets about you and it deserves the Z Plus security as it is given to VIPs in most of the countries.

Compatible Devices:

Nokia 3230
Nokia 6260
Nokia 6600
Nokia 6620
Nokia 6630
Nokia 6670
Nokia 6680
Nokia 6681
Nokia 6682
Nokia 7610
Panasonic X700
Panasonic X800
Samsung SGH-D720
Samsung SGH-D730

AFTrack v1.1 S60v3 Cracked-XRAIPDA

http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/6122/screenshot0028908168kv1.jpg
AFTrack is the display for your GPS mouse and activates the world of hiking, biking, sailing, geocaching or more for your phone. The program handles tracking with smart and fixed logging features. It sends reports via GPRS or SMS. It receives SMS position messages and show it as a waypoint. It exports and imports waypoints. Mapping, routing and more.
More info at afischer-online.de


Features :

* Six views to the GPS data - position, goto, track summary, map, altitude profile, satellite
* Degree or UTM format
* Edit position in selected output format
* Tracking the current way
* Export tracks (PCX and KML for Google Earth)
* Export tracks (IGC) with security record (validate app at the homepage)
* Import JPG, GIF, PNG, BMP, TIFF, GeoTiff or BSB as map - BMP, TIFF, GeoTiff and BSB size can be larger then phone memory
* Calibrate maps
* Automatic calibration with different cal file formats (TOP50, OziExplorer map, gmi, UI-View inf, tfw or jgw world files)
* Automatic map selection from the map storage
* Import routes from routes or tracks (PCX)
* Make route from a track
* Reverse routes
* Waypoint group to organize the waypoints
* Save current position as waypoint
* GoTo a waypoint
* Import waypoints (PCX, Geocache LOC, GPX)
* Using extra text files for waypoint description ( e.g. details of a geocache, groundspeak:long_description is supported, used in Geotoad files)
* Export waypoints (PCX or KML for Google Earth)
* Using extra text files for waypoint detailed description (e.g. geocache)
* Alarm on reached POIs
* GPRS position sending to a server
* SMS position sending
* SMS position receiving
* Reset GPS from SIRF to NMEA
* Automatic reconnection to GPS if connection lost
* Filter the altitude and speed values with a Kalman filter

What's new in this release:

· changed default url for http transfer
· new gmi format for more than 2 calibration points
· new kml overlay as calibration file
· set position from waypoint with altitude
· use automatic map selection from position
· select storage before save tracks
· import function with directory selection first
· delete all maps
· load all maps from directory
· new big view for waypoint distance, bearing, cross track error (XTE)
· repair automatic http position reporting
· repair black numbers in big view on N73
· work around for compass problem on N80
· use new xml routine for gpx import
· some smaller problems fixed
· switch the directory for a phone installation to c:/data/others/AFTrack

Requirements:

· S60 3rd edition phone
· External Bluetooth GPS device.

Note: An external GPS receiver is needed.

Tested with Nokia E60/E61 and BT-338 or XaioX InstantFix

Reported from others for

phone E70, N71, N73, N93, N80, 5500, N91

Problems are reported for

N80: the compass view doesn't work correct.

N73: GPS user report - "Updating the firmware worked like a charm. No drops in bluetooth connection.


Error :
I get certificate error when trying to install 3rd party software. How to fix it?
If you get certificate error when attempting to install 3rd party software on your S60 3rd Edition smartphone, it means that you haven't enabled installation of unsigned SIS files. Go to Tools -> App. Manager, choose Options -> Settings and set Software installation to All and Online certif. check to Off.
http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/9468/certerror1dr6.png
http://img394.imageshack.us/img394/466/certerror2gq9.png

Download:
http://www.***3.com/mobile_phone/attachment.php?attachmentid=65081&d=1175436608

Lonely Cat Games UltraMP3 v1.52 Cracked-BINPDA

This still ultra mp3 v 152 cracked Binpda but i have moded this app with 3 new skin and 2 demo song make by me i hope you like it
if you want to see my moded just give point on option DEMO and SKIN when you install this app


Overview
UltraMP3 is a music player for your mobile phone. It is a handy application with cool graphical user interface, allowing you to listen to your favorite music on your Symbian mobile device. UltraMP3 loads and plays music in MP3 and OGG format, as well as MOD, XM, IT, S3M. The player has built-in playlist editor, which allows you to arrange music files on your phone, and play them in any order you wish. High degree of customization allows you to choose from one of more available skins, and skin editor ships with application - in a few simple steps you may create your own skin. Handful of nice skins is shipped already with the application.
With UltraMP3, you may take your favorite songs everywhere with you. Additionally to MP3 and OGG playback, the player supports module music format - there're tens of thousands of module music freely downloadable from the internet - use links below and visit dedicated sites. If you have grown on Amiga and 386 PC should know what's module music about, if you don't know, just give it a try. The advantage of module music (over mp3 music for example) is that even on your memory-limited phone device, you may have hours of music available (approximately there're 2 hours of play time for 10 MB of files size). Anyway, today's size of MMC cards allows you to have one or two albums of MP3 or OGG music files in your phone, so just upload it and listen.
Don't know what the module music is? No problem, to give it a quick try, you may download a song, and run it in Winamp (Winamp plugin for module music is included in it). There're tens of thousands of module music freely downloadable from the internet - use links below and visit dedicated sites. The advantage of module music (over mp3 music for example) is that even on your memory-limited phone device, you may have hours of music available (approximately there're 2 hours of play time for 10 MB of files size).
Download and create Skins

Get more skins and
download skin editor



Screenshots




Features


User-friendly interface
Support for world's most-popular music formats MP3 and OGG
Skinning allows you to customize your player
Playlist editor - manage your songs as you wish
Capable of playing module music (MOD, XM, S3M, IT)


Tips:

You may play music files directly from phone Messages' Inbox - player is capable to find them anywhere on your mobile device
You may want to store your Messages location to the MMC card, so that you're not restricted to the limited size of phone memory when uploading music files to phone
Manage the songs from within the play-list editor, select order, delete, choose which songs to play
Easy customizations - just make up your 176x208 picture in PCX format, move it into a zip file (template provided), and upload to in-box - player copies it into its local directory, and uses immediately


Languages: English
Czech
German Marcus Ripkens
Italian Cella Simone
Hungarian József Benyó
Spanish Julio Fuentes
Swedish Gabriel Lundmark
Turkish Fatih Camci
French Nicolas Couchot
Finnish Sami Vuori
Portuguese Joel Teixeira
Dutch Stijn Peters


Download:

http://www.geocities.com/symbainrealm/ump3ngage152.zip

RotateMe, Rotate the Screen to landscape!! for Symbian OS 9.1 or above

There's a new app out there called rotateMe that lets you set your N80, N73 and E61 to landscape mode (like when you view the picture gallery or camera). Works great for surfing the way, but a bit weird when texting!

Tested on my N80

Click to Download http://rapidshare.com/files/15485949/rotateme_unsigned.sis.html